Co-sleeping has always been a very controversial topic. Unfortunately society carries so much mom-shame to co-sleeping that the mom’s who do, have become silent about it.
There are more moms out there that co-sleep than one’s who do not. Actually 67% of the world population co-sleeps with their baby; majority are breastfeeding mothers.
This style is not just based on the convenience of feeding in a bed (after an exhausting day of being a mother) but it also brings a level of intimacy many mothers have yet to experience.
The AAP does not endorse bed-sharing. Many of the tragedies in bed-sharing have happened because the Safe Sleep 7 was not being followed.
The Safe-Sleep 7 is crucial to assuring precaution. This method of sleeping has worked out for my family and I.
The combination in lack of sleep and anxiety ran through me in the beginning of my baby’s life because he loved sleeping on his side, or could only sleep with a muslin swaddle blanket covering his face.
Muslin is a beautiful, soft, breathable material for the baby to sleep with at night in substitute to baby blankets that were made back then, materials of cotton, wool or cashmere.
My favorite brand’s that had cute styles and colors were, Aden + Anais and LifeTree!
There are definitely con’s I would love to discuss. Not sure if other families have gone through similar situations with co-sleeping but all is great and all is maddening, here are the co sleeping pros and cons.
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PRO’S OF CO-SLEEPING
intimacy of skin to skin
Skin to skin is scientifically proven to enhance babies brain development and neutralize their nervous system.
Babies come in to this world having no knowledge on how intense it affects our senses. Everything is very over-stimulating and uncomfortable, and all we can do as babies is learn to ADAPT.
When babies are in the arms of their parents, most especially skin to skin it regulates both heart beats. It is good to practice at least an hour a day within the first 12 weeks after birth.
Skin to Skin releases oxytocin, which is the happiness/love hormone when you are engaged with someone you love/care about in physical proximity.
I think that works for both parties in this circumstance.
breastfeeding + continuous nursing vacations (a tactic to increase milk supply)
For breastfeeding mommas feeding on demand is very important in the first weeks of your babies life. The last thing we want to stress about is our supply, but every momma experiences a bump in the road, doesn’t matter the extremities of the bump.
Feeding on-demand helps regulate your milk supply and nursing strike if you ever have to face it.
A nursing vacation consists of these simple + relaxing efforts. Laying in a bed safely, with the Safe Sleep 7 in mind. Both, bare up-top, skin to skin: which is the most important part of the vacation. Watching, listening, or reading your favorite shows and books.
When you recognize that your baby is showing signs of hunger that will be the time to let your baby nurse. Whether it is for hunger or comfort.
It could be 10 minutes after she was on for 30 minutes, it all accounts for something. Plan to do nothing but use the loo or eat on this vacation.
It’s good to know how high your prolactin levels are at night. Prolactin is simple, it’s a protein in mammals that produce milk. So when baby feeds during these hours it truly helps boost supply.
Oxytocin (the love hormone; moments when you see your baby and you melt) also creates a stimulation which ejects drops of breast milk. These sacred moments are beautiful during the night, savor and love them.
It is easier for baby to feel safe in mommas arms and know that the convenience of their need is being met.
Yes, momma is busy all day with her baby and/or busy all day at work, so we need a tool that will help us survive. If changing a diaper is the most effort she will have to make of that night, let mommy have her way.
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less anxiety about the risks
Room-sharing reduces the risk of SIDS by about 50 percent and cuts the hassle of putting the baby to bed at about the same average.
Personally, the thought of my baby sleeping in another bed brought me so much anxiety. It’s terrifying to think I’m sleeping through moments where he might be in danger to.
Postpartum anxiety ran through my everyday, with these statements I hope I am not creating a fear or triggering in any mama’s. My arms felt the most safe for Auggie, I only made that decision knowing I’m a light sleeper.
If every night I made the sacrifice to sleep on one corner of the bed for my dog, I can do it for my bubs. Co-sleeping helped alleviate my worries. I didn’t want to keep waking up thinking I was going to face a nightmare.
helps decline postpartum depression
Just as I said before, postpartum anxiety was rough and there were moments I also dealt with postpartum depression.
I felt like I wasn’t a good enough mom, I dealt with problems in my relationship, with family, my friends. But I quickly realized it was all in my head, my hormones escalated a lot of things and this was normal.
Sharing the bed with Auggie gave me the opportunity to maintain more uninterrupted sleep and skin to skin safeness, which is known in combination to increase serotonin and oxytocin.
Furthermore, the nights that did take a little more work, waking up to his cry call or losing circulation in my arm from him sleeping on it I was still grateful.
Waking up to my son gave me the most peace I’ve ever felt in my life.
He would wake up with a big smile when we made eye contact I’d instantly become emotionally and psychologically stable (Science has proven this true in many moms).
CON’S OF BED-SHARING
sleep crutch
Now, sleep crutch meaning he has a hard time sleeping without the presence of someone being there. By experience I can tell you that my baby has become very dependent with his sleep habits.
He is very used to contact napping, most especially when it’s time to sleep at night.
Do remember Mama time flies, so by the time we know it, if for any reason you decide to sleep train do so early.
It’s easy to lose yourself in bed-sharing every night, baby might already hit 1 by the time you get to it, where independence might be a little more hard to reach. (Don’t worry lol it’s not always the case but something to think about.)
We usually would put August down in his pack n play bed next to us to change up his routine just until he woke for his next feed + diaper change I would just nurse him to bed with me.
Now that he is 6 months he is A LOT heavier than he was when he was 3 months, so having to hold him to rock him back asleep becomes exhausting fairly quickly.
sleep quality suffers
It’s beautiful to see your babe’s face when you first wake up. But when you and your partner are taking turns throughout the night and it’s their turn to change the crying baby who has the cry of a thousand monkeys it’s hard to exist lol How are you able to fall back into your quality sleep?
The baby sleeping between you and your partner generates the idea that it is easier. Not always the case, you might become lazier at responding and actively moving the baby out of your bed while he’s crying (for your partners sake).
It also can sometimes be uncomfortable in bed, to rotate or use the bathroom in by moving in slow motion out of the bed and tip toeing to the restroom. Even if the sound machine is on!
The Sound Machine I have is still an investment to me regardless, I highly recommend The Hatch if you are looking for easy, convenient, and customizable for your baby. It sold me at “control with hatch app on your phone”.
I keep the birds on all day to keep a peaceful feel in the house and I definitely travel with it. Lol big fan here.
Every experience with a baby is hard but try not to make it harder mama. Not unless it serves your mental health! With my little one being my first I find it worth the sacrifice, we all pick our own battles it’s for you and no one else to tackle.
your relationship/sex life suffers
Yes this is true. I say this because hey as a parent you put your best foot forward and you deserve alone time, especially with your partner.
Imagine being kicked out o the living room to cuddle on the couch every night because your baby is physically between the two of you, while having to move with minimal noise because waking the baby will take about another hour or two to put to bed.
Making love on the couch isn’t always the way to set the mood.
Separating baby time and relationship time is worth investing in. Because you also have to remember to make time for you, you got to make time for the whole house lol!
Showing up with love will count, every time. You will see the results, especially when you aren’t consumed of the stress, tiredness and exhaustion from your relationship + other external things.
My partner and I are now practicing independent sleeping here and there now that he is 6 months old; for good practice and to have a more intentional intimate time together.
if you or your partner are deep sleepers, it can increase chance of SIDS
No mama wants to experience or even think about the idea of SIDS, many times it becomes a trigger word for me just through the stories I’ve heard.
Studies have shown that formula-fed babies are more at risk because it takes them more effort to wake up in comparison to breastfed babies, please be careful mama’s.
Apart from the Sleep 7, (I emphasize on it to avoid a daunting experience on any parent.) It states that the baby can only co-sleep with parents that are light sleepers and 110% sober.
If you want to know more about breastfeeding and alcohol consumption I talk in depth about it here.Â
My partner is in and out of heavy sleep, it really depends how his day went. We thankfully share a king size bed so we have room for me to be the middle man since Auggie doesn’t move throughout the night.
Bed-Sharing Position’s Are Important To Incorporate
We sleep in a fetile position with one arm resting under the pillow straight in front of me to avoid any chance for him falling beyond me and the mattress.
I usually keep his hip in a slanted position so he could fall easier on his back while he slumbers.
I LOVE sleeping with my baby, but to each their own! These were the pros and cons of co sleeping that were noted in my decisions.
Listen to your intuition, only you know what is best! As I said above I am incorporating the 5-10-15 for day naps so we can slowly transition baby to sleep independently.
We are aiming to room share until he is about 1 year, so we are going to keep the pack-and-play in our room and continue room-sharing.
We are not sleep training, but we are having an open mind and incorporating some tricks to see what works for August. Most of the time we use his baby lounger to sleep in but it is incredibly scary, I’m not sure if it raises or decreases my anxiety.
It is more chance-y than bed sharing, but this is what works for my family and I from time to time. But I trust him now that he is older and able to push himself up, before he was unable to do so the nerves were racking lol I was checking on him every 5-10 minutes.
That is where we are now, wish us luck!
If you have any tips or tricks please share them with us + other mommas who want to use new tactics in their baby’s sleep routine, comment below 🙂
If you have any tips or tricks please share them with us + other mommas who want to use new tactics in their baby’s sleep routine, comment below 🙂
